One thing I’ve always known about myself is that I’m an introvert. A full blown, shy individual, that’s awkward in social situations sometimes. Lately I’ve been thinking about why I’ve found it so interesting yet so incredibly challenging to be an introvert.
Introverts learn and respond very differently than extroverted people. As an introvert, I process information in my head instead of out loud. It takes time for me to take a concept in, understand it, and then respond in words with my thoughts. Often times, people want immediate responses and take silence to mean you don’t understand or didn’t like what they had to say. But in reality, I’m usually just taking it all in and trying to gather my own thoughts. A few semesters ago, I actually took a class in college that was only about 15 students. My professor’s teaching technique was more of a ask-and-respond style rather than a lecture. He quickly realized that no one in our class ever raised their hand to answer, and he was constantly trying to pull the answers from us. Although no one answered the questions, he could tell that we were fully engaged and listening! After we took a Myers Briggs personality test, he realized that the whole class was introverted. We were attentive, but we were processing the information in our heads instead of out our mouths.
As an introvert, and a planner, my mind works a mile a minute. By the time you’ve thought about what you’ll eat for breakfast, I’ve planned out my day – when I’ll blog, when to study, where we’ll go for dinner – and to be honest most of the time I have at least a rough skeleton mapped out as to what my entire week will look like. My mind works so hard and so fast that sometimes I find myself not listening to what people are saying – no I’m not zoning out – I’m just thinking 5 steps ahead of the last conversation we had planning out what different scenarios would look like or how it would unfold. I know. It sounds insane. But it happens in a split second. I don’t do it on purpose… that’s just how my mind works.
Being an introvert sometimes makes me socially awkward. I like to think of myself as a fairly personable individual, but there are definitely times when I feel myself standing awkwardly in a corner afraid to talk to normal human beings. Especially new people. It’s like I have to prepare what I am going to say because once I meet you my mind will go blank – and if you read the paragraph above you know that is a rare occassion. Once I meet you I’m totally fine – even loud and opinionated at times… but the initial walk up always gives me anxiety.
And don’t even start to mention a public speaking event. These are a no go. An AVOID-AT-ALL-COSTS type of scenario. And if I can’t avoid it… you know I think about it for days. The most sleepless nights I’ve had, have been over future presentations and interviews. I know this is one of my weaknesses and I’m learning how to just embrace it!
Even when I’m recording Instagram stories or videos for my feed, I feel my introverted side rising to the surface. Maybe I’ll look away from the screen or forget my train of thought. My new strategy is to record the video and not rewatch it – LOL I find that I alwaysss end up deleting it if I watch the video over again.
Being an introvert definitely has it’s challenges. You’re pushed out of you comfort zone everyday, and sometimes you are very misunderstood. No I’m not quiet, I’m not avoiding your question, and I definitely don’t hate being around people. I’m just plainly introverted. I think differently and talk differently and worry about different things than you.
This part of my personality has led me to love fashion so much. Because when I’m having trouble explaining that I’m really a very easygoing, friendly, and approachable person, at least my outfit can express the words I can’t.
|| Olivia ||
